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A Sex Therapist in St. Louis discusses sex and relationships with unique guests.
Episodes
Friday Feb 09, 2018
Friday Feb 09, 2018
Our guest this week is O. John and he is a very interesting person. His body is adorned in almost every corner with tattoos, including his chest, arms, back, legs, and his penis. Yes, I said his penis. I did not verify this, but he says he has Japanese style waves around the shaft and plans to get a rose tattooed on the head in the near future. Feel free to verify on your own time. ;-)
O. John lives bit of a wild life. During the day, he works a white-collared job. On the side, he has worked as a Buck Naked Handyman, been a part of a gay men's nudist group in San Francisco, and performs nude or mostly nude at parties, sometimes as a door greeter. (Not at Wal-Mart. They require more than a thong as a uniform.) Yes, a Buck Naked Handyman means he comes to your home and works around the house while wearing nothing at all. I wonder how that works out when he has to use a skill-saw. Splinters can be a bitch.
He is very comfortable in his skin and very comfortable with his sexuality and joined us to share his story. We learned a lot of new terms, including what a JO show is! Listen in to find out what it is. (Don't Google it!) We hope you can join us for a fun and educational episode.
About our Guest:
O. John / The Tattooed Gentleman
O. John, aka, The Tattooed Gentleman has been collecting his personal ink for nearly 30 years. His bodysuit is the work of several talented artists in San Francisco, St. Louis, Memphis and Jacksonville. As an entertainer and educator, he is playful and uninhibited, the Gentleman aims to amuse and confuse, but leaves you with something to think about.
The Tattooed Gentleman is a frequent performer at Opera Atlanta and a member of St. Louis’ own Beggar’s Carnivale and Naughti Gras.
About us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: About Sex Podcast Facebook Page // Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu
Thursday Jan 25, 2018
Thursday Jan 25, 2018
Every time I speak with someone that helps people recover from physical or sexual trauma, I am in awe. I ask them all the same question; How do you do it? How do you hear stories of abuse every day and still find a way to drive home and live a normal life? The answer is always something about self-care, but I have a feeling it’s also something about what kind of person they are. They are the kind of person that dedicates a big part of their life to helping people that need it the most. Something in them is able to hear those stories and still find a way to not break down, to not become disillusioned with humanity, and to not become cynical.
Therapists throw around a term called compassion fatigue. It’s when a therapist hears the same stories over and over again and it does get to them. They are very empathetic people, and when their empathy has been bombarded with trauma after trauma, their brain has one solution to solve this problem: Apathy. They become apathetic, meaning they give zero forks about anyone or any problem that other people may have. It’s not because they don’t care. It’s because they cared too much and have been overwhelmed by their work.
I have to assume that therapists that work with trauma victims have to be at a higher risk for compassion fatigue. Something drives them to this work. I have to assume trauma specialists simply have a lot of love to share and so they decided to find the people that needed it the most.
Our guest this week, Megan Garza, is a trauma specialist that works with the YWCA. Apparently, their organization offers free counseling to those that need it the most. These are some amazing people. I hope you enjoy the episode.
About our Guest
Megan Garza is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Specialty
Trauma Care Supervisor with experience working in the mental health and violence
against women field since 1999. She is a graduate of Pepperdine University with a
Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy and University
of Missouri St. Louis with a 2 nd Master’s degree in Psychology. She works as an
individual and group therapist treating sexual trauma survivors as the Lead Therapist
for the YWCA Women’s Resource Center. Megan also works for Behavioral Health
Response as a Mobile Outreach Crisis Counselor performing suicide and homicide crisis
assessments, providing stabilization support in the community, and facilitating
inpatient psychiatric hospitalization admission, when necessary. She is on the Board of
directors of the National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence Across the Lifespan
(NPEIV) and serves as co-chair of the Practice committee working on policies and
research related to Trauma Informed Care. Megan is an American Association of
Marriage and Family Therapist’s (AAMFT) Board Approved Clinical Supervisor an active
member of the St. Louis chapter of Marriage and Family Therapists. Megan has spoken
at National conferences on sexual trauma and PTSD and has published research in the
area of sexual trauma, weight, and sexual behaviors. Her specialty areas include:
sexual trauma, PTSD, women’s issues, crisis intervention, and children & adolescents.
She is an outspoken advocate for the Endometriosis community. Megan is a long time
active volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters and the Humane Society of Missouri. She
is an avid traveler and has been to 1/7th of the globe.
About Us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu
Saturday Jan 13, 2018
Saturday Jan 13, 2018
We are back from our break and boy is this new year already off with a bang.
This morning I woke to a phone call. One missed call on screen, from my uncle. When I picked up, my mother and sister were crying and told me that a nuclear missile had been launched at Hawaii. They insisted the threat was real and they only had a few minutes left to live. Most of my family lives in Honolulu, so the news was something of a shock. I definitely freaked out with them. My entire family was going to die in less than a few minutes from an intercontinental ballistic missile sent from North Korea tipped with a nuclear payload capable of leveling the entire city of Honolulu. The idea did not sit well with me, to say the least. That's when I realized I hadn't published this week's podcast episode yet.
Not really, but this week's guest Chris Scarberry, while not as memorable as a nuclear holocaust, definitely provided us with a fun episode for the week. We discussed HIV and sex and being in a romantic relationship with a therapist. We hope you enjoyed listening to this episode just as much as we enjoyed recording it.
Edit: I forgot to mention, but my family did not die from a nuclear blast in Honolulu, Hawaii, in case you were worried. It was a false alarm, and we still don't know why it happened. After the hysteria died down, I was left with a numb feeling. In the span of a half hour, I went from shock, to denial, to telling my family where to escape on the island so they could be out of the range of the explosion centered on Pearl Harbor, to crying, to anger, to finally relief. They are safe. For now.
Afterwards, I told my mother, "Next time you call me screaming and crying about your imminent death by nuclear holocaust, it had better be real."
I await their next call with bated breath.
About our Guest:
Chris Scarberry is a therapist in private practice in South St. Louis. He
specializes in working with HIV+ and LGBTQ clients with a variety of presenting
mental health concerns. He has worked as a therapist for 17 years, a crisis
counselor for 11 years until 2015, and has been in private practice since 2007.
He has served as a member of the planning council for regional funding for HIV
services and has presented on HIV and LGBTQ counseling in a variety of
formats. His main personal interests include travelling with his partner Megan,
cooking, music, animals and writing.
Website: www.scarberrytherapy.com
About Us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu
Monday Dec 18, 2017
Monday Dec 18, 2017
Sex Addiction isn't real. Sex is real. Porn is real. Some other words that are real include diversity, fetus, vulnerable, science-based, evidence-based, entitlement, and transgender. Yes, transgendered people are real. This week it seems the Trump administration decided that these seven words don’t exist and should not be used by the CDC. Whether or not this ban is real, political leaders have been doing this as long as we have had scientific research.
Misinformation about reality, or the censoring of reality, can be harmful. Myths about sex can make it difficult for people to feel normal in their sexuality. If they are told that their biological urges are sinful or weird, they can feel a split between sex and themselves. They can see sex as something outside the normal human experience or even outside of their own control. If we as humans label something as uncontrollable, then we may fail to even try to have control over it.
Sex addiction is not a real addiction listed in the most recent edition of the DSM, the bible of mental health diagnosis. These individual’s struggles are a failure of logic brought on by shameful views of their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. People who self-label as sex addicts have the same amount of sex as people who do not. People who claim to have this addiction feel the need to hold themselves to a standard beyond the normal human condition. They feel amorous, they feel love, they feel horny, and yet they deny these feelings and push them down to hide and deny their own sexuality. They not only feel uncomfortable just talking about sex in a social setting, but can sometimes feel uncomfortable even discussing these topics with their sexual partners. They can literally be having sex with their partner and feel super uncomfortable just discussing birth control and condom usage.
Our guest today is clinical psychologist Dr. David J. Ley, Ph.D. and the author of the books Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure, The Myth of Sex Addiction and Insatiable Wives. I also just found out he has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. What the hell? That's awesome. To me, he sounds like the Jason Bourne of the clinical psychology world, saving people from myths and misinformation about sex and relationships. Our discussion with him covers the myths of sex addiction, porn, the CDC’s list of banned words, and so much more.
David J. Ley PhD (@DrDavidLey) on Twitter
About Us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu
Thursday Dec 14, 2017
Thursday Dec 14, 2017
The Republican party decided this year that they are okay with pedophiles representing them in the Senate. Roy Moore lost the race yesterday for the Alabama Senate seat by only 1.5%. Many of the people in Alabama that voted for Moore may see pedophiles as the worst of the worst, but they also see Democrats as somehow an even lower form of human life. Ugh, Democrats. Such a dirty thing. It brings to mind words like liberal, social justice, or *gasp* even diversity and inclusion. What depravity this world hath wrought!
The sitting President of the United States, Donald Trump, even openly supported this accused pedophile for the Alabama Senate race and directed the Republican National Party to send as much funding his way. He wanted to ensure as much as he could that this accused pedophile made it into office, no matter how many children were destroyed in Moore’s wake.
Somehow, in our topsy-turvy world, the Republicans see pedophiles as a crucially important demographic that they don’t want to lose. They will do anything and everything within their will to ensure all those pedophiles stick with the Republican party, so that they don’t to lose those sweet, sweet pedophile votes to another party.
After we discuss Roy Moore and the wonderful pedophile laden dystopia that is the Republican party’s vision for the future, we have a very special guest on to discuss LGBTQIA+ advocacy. Our guest this week is Jaimie Hilemann, a Trans and LGBTQIA+ advocate and educator. For those that do not know what all those letters mean, they stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and plus. The plus is a way to leave it open for inclusion of people that do not fall into these categories. We discuss education, myths about trans people, transitioning, and non-pliments (Compliments that can be insulting or off-putting).
We learned a lot about transgendered individuals and hope you can join us for this week’s episode.
About Our Guest:
Jaimie Hilemann
After 24 years in the corporate world, from key account sales, sales training, to
sales- management, Jaimie felt the need as a Trans woman to advocate and speak
out for Trans and LGBTQIA+ issues. First volunteering with MTUG (Metro
Trans Umbrella Group), in St. Louis, she eventually became Board President and
still collaborates with MTUG today.
Aware of rapidly changing needs in the Trans community, she began consulting
as a Trans Cultural Competency Educator, including educational and training
consulting under contract with DAP (Diversity Awareness Partnership).
Realizing the need for full-time Trans and LGBTQIA+ focused advocacy, Jaimie
formally founded the Trans Education Service LLC of St. Louis (TES LLC STL)
in order to expand opportunities to educate regarding issues critical to the
community. TES is both a Trans and LGBTQIA+ cultural competency
educational and training consultancy, and a consulting partner for diversity and
inclusion policy, planning and implementation.
Jaimie is a member of WPATH, with GEI (Global Education Initiative), training,
and also a professional member of AASECT, the American Association of
Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.
About Us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu
Thursday Dec 07, 2017
Thursday Dec 07, 2017
I’m going to lay down some truth here, people. Listen closely, especially the fellas. In your life, you may find yourself in a position of power or in a situation where someone is vulnerable to your actions. When you find yourself in this position, it’s important that you remember to do one thing: Don’t rape people. I know it’s easy to forget. We live busy lives, working long hours, spending time with family, and wasting so much more time bingeing Netflix episodes of Stranger Things, or spending hours and hours refreshing our Facebook feeds, hoping to get ahold of some of those juicy thumbs up. Or is it up thumbs? But among this busy life, you must find it in you to push through those urges to rape, coerce, or exploit vulnerable individuals into sexual situations. The damage you can do to another individual in such a situation can be life altering.
Recently, many prominent men in positions of celebrity or political power, including comedians such Louis C.K. and Al Franken, have been accused by large swathes of women of sexual misconduct and sexual assault. Just today, Al Franken announced his resignation from the Senate amid these sexual allegations. Come on, guys! It is important to know when you are in a position of power so that you may be more vigilant to not exploit that power. Many professions, such as prison guards, police, and medical professionals understand how much power they have over the individuals they work with and serve, and because of this knowledge they have codes of ethics and rules in their professions that give them guidelines on how NOT to exploit those individuals. Yes, we have to tell these professionals not to do it. We had to make it a rule for a reason.
Comedians have very few rules of the trade and many comedians are notorious for being rulebreakers when it comes to drugs and other taboo topics, but on this topic, they need to stand up and find it in their hearts to not rape people. They also should probably not kill people as well. No one likes to die. Which brings us to this week’s main topic: Death! While we do talk about the sexual misconduct of celebrities this episode, the main topic is about death from a legal standpoint and estate planning. Our guest Martha Burhardt, a lawyer, not only explains what a trust is, but she also shares some insight on how she deals with the taboo topic of death with her clients.
Next week, Dr. David J. Ley Ph.D. will be joining us to discuss the myth of sex addiction and Ethical Porn for Dicks. We're pretty excited to have him join us. He is a clinical psychologist and has been featured on Dr. Phil
As an aside, this is actually our sixtieth episode. We have been doing this podcast for over a year now. We have enjoyed having so many amazing guests and we look forward to having many more in the future. After next week's episode, we will be taking a break to rest and relax and enjoy the holidays. We hope to see you next week and again in the new year, 2018.
About Our Guest:
Martha Burkhardt - Burkhardt Law Firm - www.burkhardtlaw.com/blog
Martha graduated from Dominican University and University of Missouri-
Columbia School of Law. Post-graduation she proceeded to a position
with Pension and Retirement Services. During that time she realized that
many families and individuals need help understanding their estate
planning options and how they may impact the family’s future. Her goal
has become to fill the gap in knowledge that nearly all families find
intimidating and confusing so that they may protect their future.
About Us:
Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.
About Sex now livestreams episodes on YouTube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, the livestream goes out a week before the podcast releases. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com
Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.
Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu